June: Whimsical Uncertainty.

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Oh, dearest June has gone. How I love June and it’s summery, mild vibes. How I love summer, in general— the prolonged sunshine, blue skies and greenery. This June was a little bit too kind, despite my expectations for a turbulent one. Here I will tell you why.


June was all about uncertainty from the very first day as I was in that plane to Poland. I usually ride a plane feeling extremely thrilled and filled with inextinguishable exuberance, watching the terrains from up above. However, this time, I was actually very uncertain of everything. I was anxious, acceptant, hopeful and rather apathetic, too. I didn’t have any plans or solidified intentions. I didn’t even know what I would do with my time this summer.





Yet, as the days went by, being outside in the fresh air, eating healthily and taking care of myself, ideas came to rejuvenate my own existence. I was freshened by revelations and actionable steps to take towards a goal, which is also lavishly uncertain. I got that idea for next year’s project at the school I am working in which is based on the Enneagram personality theory. At once, I planned my day to involve hours of research and planning, while the rest of the day I’d do some homeschooling with my sister, read and go outside for long morning and evening walks or to the park. The thing is, I’m awfully doubtful that this project will work but, that is what happens when one gets out of the comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable and different— there are no rules other than the ones I set and not even any standards to follow. But that is what I honour about my work, given it’s created from scratch, on my own terms. I will not expect anything this time and do the work needed to plan for the challenges and alternative routes to take if everything fails.


In June, I’ve been working on my health. I’m mostly complying to my plan (although occasionally having some nice good quality chocolate and fresh bread!). I’ve been asking myself lately— am I exhausting myself? Am I overthinking? Am I being mindful? It actually helps. I will update you with the results in a separate post after some time.

I’m still uncertain about my summer and I don’t know what could happen. I’m enraptured by the mindfulness I’m attaining despite it all, this act of letting it all go, letting faith govern for some time, for a change, making me heal.

We planned a few road trips to near parts around town— palaces, gardens and museums for some cultural enrichment. We have a few plans for travel which I am excited to reveal when the time comes. :)




In the end, I am thankful, like always. I’m thankful that June wasn’t as bad as my expectations. I'm glad that it's helping me become more tolerant to what's lurking behind the corner. 

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